My Baby Girl & I

She amuses everyone in that room. The very first thing everyone notices is her hair. She has lots of hair for a new born. Perfectly healthy. Darker skin like mine. Eyes like her mother's. Lips and nose like daddy's. But well, bottom line is the healthy baby is ours.

She cries a bit. Looks lost though. From in there to this world? Of course she cries. Just amazing!

The nurses quickly wiped her a bit and she is taken to her mother. They placed her on her mother's chest, chest down, skin to skin. Nurse said the she still needs to hear her mother's heartbeats in order to tame her cries.

She cries a little with the sound and the like of calling for mommy or daddy. As she is our first child we are both so very touched. I can't help myself but to shed tears listening to her helpless soft little cry. But the moment she is placed on her mother chest her cries ceased... Amazing!

After a quick talk between the doctor and the nurse, our nurse came to me saying that her mother needs a minor cleanup in the inside. Get a paper for me to sign. Done.

Quickly and unfortunately she has to be removed her from the mother as she has to undergo further surgery due to a minor complication that she has after the delivery. Just a minor. I was told not to worry. Ya right! Thanks doc for the words of confidence. Of course I am not alright. I am terrified! I have no one but me, myself and I!

Then our little sweetheart is brought over to me for comfort. She is placed inside my sweater in order to maintain that motherly contact or whatever it is they called it. But she seemed to like it. She covered with the womb blood though. 


We were left alone in the delivery room while her mother is pushed away to the surgery room at the other floor. That was the moment I felt so lost and helpless. My little sweetheart starts to ask for more as she cries a little...intermittenly. Oh dear God...please help me. 

Seriously I was clueless although fearless. All of the efforts and times I spent in the gym meant nothing at all. Meaningless muscles!

Then a nurse came in for a rescue, I thought but not, instead telling us that we shouldn't be staying in that room as they expect another delivery to be held there soon after. 

Wow...the delivery process is just a non-stop thing as I noticed that they were constantly delivering babies in the other rooms. Going-to-be-mothers come in and out but yet we are still there since this afternoon. It was almost midnight though. Tired and helpless!

Well...we are ushered to our ward and there I was with a little human being under my care. Great! That was the most challenging moment as I tried helplessly comforting her. Without a doubt she cried more and more every each minute. I guessed she must be hungry. I know that... Every each time the door opens I prayed and hoped it would be her mother but an hour gone she's not back yet... Now I had double worries to bear.

Another hour went by there is no clue of her mother. I was getting more agitated and worry. My butt is tied to a little space where I have to maintain as little noise as possible. 

Past midnight. Mothers and babies were sleeping. We are just separated by thin sheet of cloth. How I wished I can afford a single room ward for us at that very moment. But my little baby does not know anything about keeping it low. She kept crying, more and more, and louder and louder, as i tried to console her to my very best but all pointless. 

But how about me? Who is there to console me? Remember? I am in a foreign land all alone. 

Well, I had to deal with it alone. Her cries was so helpless and sad. Our eyes met. Her tears pouring down her peachy cheeks. All I could do is to kiss away those tears but not the cries. 

Hours past! No sign of my wife and her mother. I needed my wife while she's looking for her mother. I was helpless, terrified and sad. I'm crying deep inside screaming seeking for help. Please baby...please. I sang to her softly, and did whatever it is to make her settledown a little but all pointless. I was drowning deep inside. Until I couldn't help myself but to cry too. Tears ran down my cheeks as hers ran down hers. We both cried but mine is without a sound.


About dawn. Five maybe. Hours of no sleep and full of worries, joys seemed to subside. Past 24hours I have been up. I may not have tummy pain but deep inside me I am numb!

Until about six that morning a bed is pushed in our ward. I quickly looked at it and there's her mother lying flat on it. Sense of relieve! As I dearly thought that she can give me a hand. Mother's magic. Mother's touch. But not! The midwives are sending in a helpless mother under my watch. She is still in the state of sleepiness after the surgery and required some rest. 

Oh no! I need some sleep too... and there's a new born baby in my arms since eleven zero six last night who is crying and hungry. Oh dear God.

Not until around ten that morning her mother woke up. She looked a little pale but rested well I pressumed. She went through enough. I couldnt imagine the agony and pain she went through. But I guess God plays a better role in that field. That's the beauty of being mothers. 

My little girl got what she had been crying for, milk! She went in hard. She was hungry. Cant blame her for that.Our little angel finally gets to be in her mother care. She is breastfed as she slowly stop crying from then on. I went home a straighten things a little getting stuff that are required. Well...freshen-up too. How about a sleep? Not at all... Not yet. It was like 10am and I couldn't close my eyes at all.

Packed some stuff and went back to the hospital. Ours was a special case as they were still under Doctor's care for a couple of days.

Our little angel is living a normal baby life. We were filled with joys and excitements. Thing couldn't be much better than that for me.
Well...now that I am officially a father I look forward to care and nurture her and to see her growing up.