Today she turns two months and it time for vaccination. This morning we took her for a vaccination. She was in a good mood all morning. Very cheerful making all the noises trying to talk to us about her dream I guess. Not a clue of what she said but I was amused and amazed by how well she responds after two months.
I happened to be one of the luckiest father on earth who has the opportunity to be with his child witnessing her birth, be the first to hear her cry and witness the whole process of child birth. Really an experience of a lifetime especially when it is your first baby. I am fortunate enough to be able to be with her most of the time nourishing her, playing with her when she's awake and putting her to bed when she's sleeping. I enjoy having her sleeping flat on my chest for hours. She loves it too as she will be awake if we try to place her on her crib. Put her back on my chest she falls asleep again...like a baby.
I am blessed by the fact that for the past two months I have been learning more than I expected about bringing up a child. Changed nappy. It was awful for the first time but now it is just another nappy change. Before it was rather disgusting to witness a pile of poo after eating or before meal. Now I can jump from my meal table and change her right away. Feeding and burping her. Bathing her is the most entertaining part as she really enjoy sitting enjoying her warm bath. And from all these I am proud to be father and I do sincerely hope to be a wonderful father.
Today was really awful. She cried really hard when the doctor gave her the jab. One on each side of her thigh. I can hear the pain she endured making me so helpless. And taking her into my arms after the jabs trying to give her comfort made me feel even much sorrier for myself. She cried with actual tears run down her chubby cheek. She looked at me crying for help but daddy was helpless without being able to put away the pain. All daddy could do was to tame her and hold her closely giving her the indication that daddy will always be there for her.
Today I began to realize that I am vulnerable when comes to my little child. We were told that she will be cranky and moody after the vaccination. Well...she tried to proof the doctor wrong giving it her best winning over the pain. But she's just a little child to do so as the vaccine takes over. She was cranky and moody. She slept and woke up with a sudden cry. Rather tormenting but we managed it well. She slept all afternoon and woke up for "nenen" (milk) only and went straight to bed soon after. Cried whenever she woke up. I was so sad watching her crying and I cried too. Silly as my wife said to me. But I couldn't hold on to my teary eyes. I am weak...now I know how a father feels about his little child. It's just sickeningly helpless to see your child in pain. Her temperature is rising. I'm nervous. Slight fever I guess, an inflicted pain that help to prevent future sickness has cause her minor fever. She's 38 point something and we gave her some medication in which she reluctantly swallowed. I am hoping she'd be okay tomorrow and be able to sleep well tonight. However, she's making playing noises talking to mommy as daddy is writing this journal. Really hope she will be back to normal tomorrow. God bless...and I am praying for a better tomorrow and healthier Lorelai.
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